According to my calculations, I am 16 thousand and sixty days into my shift here in this phase of existence. This can be divided into a round number, if you’d care to do the maths. Therefore, tradition dictates that there should be some manner of celebration.
However, I am an old curmudgeon, and will just be having a quiet night in with a few close friends.
A quiet, simple life is all I crave.
(pic via Clayton Cubitt)
EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS 
Technically – technically – you are a few days older than that, since there will be 10 or 11 leap years in your calculation. Anyway, happy 44th!!!!!!!