Things are starting to move. Gradually, blinking in the low watery sunlight like a couple of bears emerging from hibernation, C and I are returning to the world. She’s leading the vanguard in the grounds, pruning, clearing and tidying. I’m under starters orders to retask our home office/crafting room into something more fit for purpose. Which means I get to play with power tools and pointy potentially dangerous objects today. Wish me luck. The endgame is a room we can both use for our creative endeavours when C is not in there bringing in the big bucks.
Progress, of sorts, which has been a long time coming. I can’t wait to get started.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Based on this precis, Wuthering Heights, apparently. Why did no-one tell me it was a psychological horror story?
Rob is watching…
The Paralympics, which is guaranteed to have the same rush of thrills, emotion and mood swings as the other winter games. Also, Crufts this weekend. We’re dog-free at Swipe Towers, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us a doggy or two. Bring on the flyball!
Rob is listening…
To this charming version of One Note Samba as performed by Dean Martin and Caterina Valente in 1966. Sometimes that old school variety vibe hits me in the sweet spot. I honestly can’t get enough of this—the charm, the flirtatiousness, the sheer sense of cool. It’s easy to sing along to as well. You only need one note.
Rob is eating…
Not really. But then I think of the bio hackers chugging down their Huels and Manly Slimfasts and whatnot and I think well, this is what happens when you treat food as nutrition instead of a daily chance to touch, however briefly, the divine.
I also believe I’ve found the perfect easy recipe for Friday Focaccia. Moving that concept to the proving ground, will report back.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
How a thing in a box can turn into a fancy sit-stand powered desk with nothing but time, a few tools and a modicum of swearing. I honestly really enjoy putting flatpack together. Unlike my brothers and dad, my skills at building and carpentry are minimal. But I can do this, and I find it really satisfying. So there.
A great over- and interview centring on the brilliant Diane Duane, whose light hand on the tiller of modern fantasy and SF has steered us to some strange and lovely destinations. I’m a fan, and am chuffed to announce it to the world. If you’re an aficionado of H*rry P*tter you could do worse than check out her Young Wizards series and see how the subject should be handled.
What happens when you ground a five-year-old Chaos Froglet, descreen her and allow her imagination to take flight. Seriously if this kid doesn’t grow up as a writer, film-maker or games designer there is no honour or justice in this world.
Your Majesty, I Must Tell You Of The Spider Wars
Some notes on suspended animation. As previously noted in many Swipes passim, I would cheerfully spend the winter months in torpor. Surely this is achievable. Come on, science, help a weary old rabbit out.
Trigger warning emplaced for this long pen portrait of cartoonist Mike Diana, who was convicted of obscenity in 1994. Comics are an easy target for pearl-clutching busybodies—from Frederick Wertham’s Seduction Of The Innocent which led to the creation of the Comics Code Authority, to prosecutions in the 60s underground scene. Drawings of sex and violence enervate those who want control over the things we read and write, because it’s a way into the one territory they can’t properly legislate—our inner lives. Diana’s crude and brutal drawings are not to most people’s taste, but it’s quickly obvious his material, Xeroxed at work and barely distributed beyond a couple of local head shops and zine shows, was never intended to be seen by kids. The court case was a clumsy attempt into legitimatising further censorship. You probably won’t like his comics, but come on, no-one’s forcing you to buy or read them.
Nice to see action being taken to protect, preserve and celebrate that great British third space—the proper boozer. In a week when Brewdog have closed dozens of venues (including the Reading barn, yet another failure in a pretty cursed location) it’s really important we keep pubs open and thriving. See you in the Fox & Hounds!
In a related aside, what happens when you decide to serve pints to your customers in anything other than the approved receptacle? Shenanigans, that’s what! The look of bewilderment on punter’s faces (especially the geezer at the top of the piece) is utterly priceless.
Brendan at Semi-Rad talks about how arguments on kid’s screen time need to be applied a little closer to home. I know how easy it is to pick up a phone to check a quick question or idea and still be scrolling half and hour later. I do, at least, keep my devices downstairs and silenced at bedtime. But the struggle is real, and I know I need to put down the tablet more often and pick up a book instead.
Drew Magary for Defector on the German practice of burping your house. Come on folks, crack a window or two, it’ll be spring soon!
In conclusion.
Finally. Look, if your heart hasn’t melted into your socks by the end of this simple, heartfelt rendition of an Elvis classic, I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS 
A thought on the keeping pubs open thing; I agree that they have a huge comminuty role, but I’d be more likely to use them if they offered more decent non-alcoholic options. Pubs have always found ways to respond to changes in demand and practice before – more offer food, craft beers, a dazzling variety of gins, longer opening times – but they seem perversely resistent to treating non-alcoholic drinks as anything but an afterthought. There are lots of really interesting no or low-alcohol drinks now, but I still get offered fizzy sugary soda, fruit juice or Peroni/Heineken zero. Or a bloody mocktail. (Do not get me started on low alcohol cider which is currently an abomination.) 39% of young men and 31% of young women say they don’t drink alcohol – so no amount of influencers will keep pubs open when the older drinking generation stops going, if they don’t change. Yes this is the hill I will die on.
I couldn’t agree more. It’s interesting to note that the temperance movement of the late 1800s led to a swathe of places which offered all sorts of tasty NA bevs. Perhaps enterprising pub owners should look into getting sasperilla back on the menu!
Side point: I was at KFK recently with Pete G and he said, I’m not really drinking much at the moment – I don’t suppose you have any non-alcoholic beers? and the waiter came back saying, I’m afraid this is all we have – and plonked six different beers on the table. So if an (albeit superior) Chinese restaurant can do it, why can’t the pubs?