So, I guess we’re doing this again. Every year, we jump on the same merry-go-round and whizz about until we feel a bit dizzy and sick. We spend too much, buy too much, eat and drink too much, then limp into January either in penitent’s weeds or wild-eyed insistence that it’s actually better for us to carry on with the party. We never learn, and capitalism makes sure we don’t.
C and I are no better. We did a food shop earlier in the week and ended up with half a trolley-full of snacks and sweets which we’ll still be eating in March. Call it stockpiling just in case the AI bubble bursts and the global economy collapses on Boxing Day. For presents, we buy the slightly more expensive things we’d both like and can’t justify at any other time of year, give them to the other and tell ‘em to wrap it. A more logical way of doing things—at least we’re guaranteed to get the stuff we want.
However you’re spending the upcoming X-pocalpse, remember to be kind, gentle and forgiving to those you’ll spend the time with. More importantly, be good to yourself. If you need breathing space, take it. Call it a Christmas gift from you to you.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
War For Eternity by Benjamin Teitlebaum. Not the SF epic which comes up on a Google search. Rather, an ethnographic exploration of the school of thought which is gradually reshaping world politics. It’s hard to describe in a scant few sentances, but think of Traditionalism as an anti-democratic, far-right philosophy which aims to guide humanity away from the current status quo and back to one where religion goes hand in hand with oligarchy in a world where nation states rather than structures like the European Union hold sway. Two figures are at the heart of this conspiracy—a Rasputin-like guru to the Putin regime and one of Trump’s former advisors. This is un-nerving but essential writing, which clarifies a lot of questions I’ve had about why politics is taking such a wild swerve away from the left.
Rob is watching…
Alien: Earth. Following the huge disappointment of Romulus, I was wary of another dive into the franchise. It feels like a concept show-runner Noah Hawley pitched to Fox and was given the go-ahead with the proviso ‘yes sure, but put some xenomorphs in the mix and dress it up like Roger Christian and Ron Cobb would’ (see also Prometheus). Subsequently, A:E is stuffed with good ideas but keeps getting sidelined by the pull back to source material which doesn’t really have that much to do with the story at hand. I’ll keep watching, but a rage-quit is likely to happen before the end.
Rob is listening…
To The Wonder Stuff. As prep for our next WROB, I’ve listened to a lot of early-90s British indie. The Stuffies were always a delight to me, ramshackle but bulging with great tunes and heartfelt stories. Miles Hunt, head songwriter and motive force behind the Eight-Legged Groove Machine, is still touring. He hits Oxford in February. Maybe see you there?
Rob is eating…
A pork and veg stew for the ages. The Instant Pot really doing sterling work here, making me look like a genius for very little effort. A hunk of pork shoulder, cubed. Leeks, small onions, carrots, a cubed butternut squash, herbs. The key—a good stock over the top. Blast under pressure for an hour, then uncover and simmer for twenty minutes, adding some basic herby dumplings on top to plump and thicken the mix. Serve just as it comes in deep bowls. A sprinkling of parsley and lemon zest looks pretty and lifts things a bit, but don’t worry if they’re not to hand. Fill your face. If you’ve veggie, leave out the pig and throw in some mushrooms and lentils instead. On a day like today, you won’t get a more comforting dinner.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Alton Brown. I’ve always enjoyed his geek-forward approach to cooking, but I didn’t realise until I started following him on Insta how funny the dude is. Anyway, he’s back on YouTube with an ongoing series. The first ep features some solid advice on how to cook a turkey. This is aimed at Thanksgiving, but is just as appropriate for the X-Day feast. Keep an eye on the cocktails, too.
Important and useful information if there’s someone you’d really like to disappear, say after a heated political or religious discussion around the festive table. Just putting it out there as a public service.
How Do You Fire Someone Into The Sun?
A long but lovely read on finding a way out of corporate grindery and into a more rewarding existence. I can’t think of a better way to restart and reset. Imagine a life like this, surrounded by beautiful old machinery and learning a skill which is essential in ways it’s hard to sell to anyone without a soul.
How To Fix A Typewriter And Your Life
This thread goes on for a bit, but the serial nature of it is part of the fun. Keep clicking through, it’s absolutely worth it.
I love love love these brilliant felted tree deccoes, and urge you all to treat yourselves, despite the anti-consumerist polemic I offer above. The last three examples are, frankly, the real deal.
A Ninth Art post which answers a question I’m sure has keeping you all up at night—how do you show a long take in comics, a medium which by its very nature splits time into a series of momentary snapshots? Well, Paul Chadwick, creator of Concrete, has a great solution to the problem. Don’t go wide, go granular…
Maria Dahvana Headley brought out a controversial translation of Beowulf in 2020, soaked in street slang and macho argot. It’s a wild ride, which is kinda what you’d expect for a story full of warriors and monsters. A tale designed to be told around a fire while drinking heavily. Worth a look if you want something meaty to read as we shamble towards Saturnalia.
There is a worryingly precise percentage of folks in the planet who are, for want of a better phrase, bugfuck crazy. Take a look at the evidence, and make up your own mind, but me the workings seem about right. Factor that into your Yuletide gatherings and winnow where you can, I guess.
How To Check For The Crazification Factor
An early example of the rapper-and-vocalist pop duo, with a nod towards the popular TV figure taking a punt at a musical sidebar. The more things change, the more they stay the same, amirite?
OK, I try to keep current affairs off the Swipe, but this incredible recounting of the affair between a hitherto respected American journalist and the Secretary for Health is so full of gbsmacking moments I had to include it. Brilliant writing from Brian Phillips at The Ringer, with possibly the best opening paragraph I’ve read this year.
And finally. It’s good to see comics creators using Insta and Tumblr to publish short stories. This is a really good one. Mythic, mystic and romantic. Enjoy.
Can a song be said to be Christmassy if it has sleighbells in it? If so, please enjoy your new X-Day anthem.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS 
Hi Rob, Thanks for the heads up re War for Eternity. I hadn’t heard of the book until now so I’ve ordered a copy. I’ve been asking myself the same questions about the seemingly inexplicable lurch to the right and the rise of the ‘strong man.’ Knowledge is power… at least it was once. Take care, nigel
Nigel, great to hear from you! I think you’ll be fascinated by the book – Traditionalism is much stranger than I thought, and much more pervasive. Brexit, unsurprisingly, is in there…