Rob – Page 4 – EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 14

I think I have to make a deal over Eurovision this year. I love the songs, the manic vibe, the surreal quality of the whole big-tent circus. But once the songs are done and the judging machine grinds into life—well, I lose interest rapidly. I know C feels the same way—she’s talking about giving the whole thing a miss this year. So, we’ll see. I suspect we’ll watch the performances and find out who won the following morning. Rooting for the UK of course (What The Hell Just Happened? has strong musical theatre vibes which may help it out) but I’ll tag my personal choice below.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 13

All of a sudden, I’m playing catchup to my salad and spinach from the garden. The good green stuff is constantly in need of cutting and eating. Not a bad thing, of course—C and I are filled with fibre, vitamins and iron. And an armful of spinach melts to a few spoonfuls of concentrated goodness in a hot pan. I just wish the same could be said for my cucumbers and tomatoes, which are taking their own sweet time. Yes, I know it’s only May but still.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 12

Susie Dent says: ”Word of the day is ‘forswunk’ (13th century): exhausted from too much work. I like to think that ‘foreswunk’ is to be exhausted before you even begin.”

Your umble author is well and truly forswunk, it’s been a wild week. Therefore a slightly foreshortened chapter this week, with a hopeful long weekend ahead. I shall be laying a concrete patio. Pray for me.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 11

As we slide into May, all the hard work C and I have put in at Copse End over the last six months is starting to pay off. Most of the new beds are in, dug and planted. There is one big path up the whole length of the garden now from the back door to Gwen’s Den, dozens of stepping stones in a long undulating line. House Beast Millie approves, marching up and down her territory like the boss she is, big fluffy tail held high.

It’s growing season. Lots of the plants we started from seed in the new year are ready to harden off before their final destination. My trug of salad leaves and radishes is romping away, and the chard, fennel and spinach up top looks very promising. The apple and cherry trees are in bloom, all candy pink and floss-white.

Speaking of which, the annual confetti-fest from next door has arrived. A huge old apple tree looms over the top of the garden and creates giant puffballs of blossom. The windy weather shakes it all onto our patio. It looks like the aftermath of a particularly camp wedding.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 10

A bumper edition ahead this week, all the better to feed your greedy curious minds on this deliciously elongated weekend. I trust the Easter Bunny laid you plenty of treats and you’ve started the long slow roast of the festive beast. My haunch of unicorn went into the fire pit yesterday afternoon alongside woody herbs and a couple of diamonds for flavour. The meat should slide off the bones in perfect time for our celebration of nailing some poor Palestinian to a tree a few thousand years ago.

There may also be trifle.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you celebrate, welcome to The Swipe.

Five Minutes

The week can just run away with you. Perhaps it’s a symptom of age, maybe a simple matter of perception versus to-do list versus the increasingly urgent need to bank more than eight hours sleep a night. You can only fit so much into a sixteen-hour day. This week, unfortunately, has not provided opportunity for the glean and winnow of the internet which ends up with the half-baked confection that is your soar-away Saturday Swipe.

To put it another way—no linky madness this week, chums. Instead, let me open up and talk in a freeform way about time, roughly ordered into five short segments.

Boy, I know how to sell it, don’t I?

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 9

A rough week on the Day Job, for reasons it would be unwise to go into here. The latest bout of annoyance has had an upside, if you can put it that way—I am awake before sunrise today, plying my Swipery while the trees at Copse End slowly emerge out of the night into the soft blue of dawn. All is quiet part from birdsong. It’s a nice time to be up and about. I might need a nap later today, though.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

Where There’s Smoke

I fought the fire and the fire won.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 8

Lots to see and do this week, so let’s crack on. C and I are away for a few days for to celebrate her birthing-time anniversary (they should really come up with a better term for that) so I honestly have no idea what foolishness you’ll get in the next chapter. I’ll try to resist a gardening update but so much is growing right now, youse guys.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 7

The Ides Of March are upon us. Death to all tyrants! Rise, citizens, like the flood of Biblical times, and wash away the corruption spreading over our land. Let those who think themselves untouchable understand, at the last, that true power comes from unity of the righteous against oppression!

Also this week: owls, gherkins and a sufficiency of prog.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.