art – Page 7 – EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 22

I didn’t expect the new pool at Reading’s Rivermead Leisure Centre to be a place where I would be shockingly reminded of my own mortality. I like a bit of a swim, and thought the facility would be a grand place to get back into the habit. The problem was, I booked a fitness session by accident, and found myself trapped in a lane where there was no real chance to take it at an easy pace. Every time I turned I was faced by a determined-looking pensioner bearing down on me disapprovingly.

Readership, I lasted twenty minutes, and five of those were me perched on the side of the pool trying not to cough up a lung. When a concerned lifeguard came up and asked if I was OK, I knew I’d over-extended.

I’ll be back, but making darn sure to to book a gentler session. Obviously, I’ve been spoiled by empty hotel pools for far too long. Once my shoulders have fully popped back into their sockets, that is…

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 21

A busy old week, what with writing triumphs and social gatherings and an emergency plumber call out just when I was getting cocky. Things never run as smoothly as they could (including the first draft of Chapter 21, lost in a version conflict—gods I love repeating myself) ,so you might as well just enjoy the ride.

This chapter brings you alien tacos, the attempt to steal Graceland and a very insistent seagull.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 20

Doesn’t really feel like June, does it? TLC and I are still pulling out jumpers to wear in the evenings. As I sit writing, looking out at the garden this morning, I’m serenaded by the soft hush of rain on the roof. The grounds are looking especially lush right now, but oh what wouldn’t I give for a sunny afternoon to sip wine amongst the flowers? Oh well, you get what you get. We’ll probably all still be in shorts come November and we’ll have no-one to blame but ourselves.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 19

Hello from Swipe Mobile Command, a converted Methodist chapel in the pretty village of Knodishall in East Suffolk. It is calm and peaceful here, a building of clean white walls and high ceilings. A big bright open space where we can cook, listen to music (and at this time of the morning, birdsong) and reset. Aldeburgh and Southwold are short drives away, as is the UFO walk at Rendlesham Forest, where we will doubtless find the truth is indeed out there.

It is June and we are remembering what it’s like to be grown up, married people with proper internal lives. I am increasingly content. All I need now is to get my toes into some seawater.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 18

I thought May was going to be a rough month, but I didn’t realise it was going to rinse TLC and I out quite this hard. Tough demands on my head space in The Day Job, various issues with the house which seemed to pop up just after we’d paid off The Big Debt, that whole thing with The Critters In The Walls (honestly, that situation turned into a cross between a detective tale and a haunted house story).

But we have survived our plethora of First World Problems and now can look forward to a sunny Bank Holiday weekend and an actual proper break. This time next week we will be waking up after our first night in a converted chapel in Suffolk, ready for some sea air and relaxation. Only forward, Readership. Always look towards the sun. With shades on, of course, looks cooler.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 17

I was handed an ugly shift on The Day Job this week. 2pm-10pm, which does nothing for your social life or, it turns out, a positive frame of mind in general. It turns out, as I’ve got older, I’ve become much more a creature of habit. Change is not in my nature any more. I’m an early riser, which means any work undertaken after about 9pm is met with an internal mental complaint of ‘shouldn’t you be in bed by now?’ I’ve seen little of TLC, struggled to do anything creatively and generally spent the week in a state of high discombobulation. Back to a normal rhythm from Monday. Clearly, I need a settled routine to be a productive member of society.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 16

I’ve engaged in a tiny writing challenge for the month. 200 words every day in May. Doesn’t seem like much, I know. The intersticials and intros in each chapter of The Swipe average far more than that. But it’s not really about the wordcount—although by the time we go on our hols at the end of the month I will have accrued over 6000 of the blighters, which is half a novella. The point is twofold. Build a writing habit and have fun with it. Both of which are completely doable when you’re working with such a short daily commitment. I may even share the end product with you.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 15

We headed up to Reading Town Hall this Thursday to celebrate the launch of Claire Dyer’s new brace of books—a twisty family drama called What We Thought We Knew and a new volume of poetry, The Adjustments. It was great to see her again in all her room-owning glory, and we had the pleasure to catch with a few more Reading Writers alumni and pals. It was one of those nights which gives me hope about my literary aspirations. It’s a lonely existence, so times when you can meet up and share hints, tips and war stories is really important. Check out Claire’s books—she’s incredibly talented as an author and poet.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 14

Off on adventures this weekend, to celebrate birthdays in Essex. Off on adventures next weekend to meet up with TLC’s side of our extended family. Meanwhile, the garden is waking up, stretching and groaning and putting out feelers. I love this time of year, when the world seems to brighten a little. If you’re happy to let that mood in, it can do you all sorts of good.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.

The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 13

TLC and I have had a tumultuous few weeks, as moments we’ve been planning over decades quietly happen, slip past and vanish into the rear view mirror, to be replaced by more pressing concerns. Neither of us are great with stress management and, although what we’ve put ourselves through is the very definition of first-world problems, the sleepless nights and tightness in the gut have been all too real. I think we crossed a rubicon yesterday, and hopefully the second quarter of the year should leave us less strung out. One thing we’ve learnt—don’t assume passing a milestone will have a reward attached. The milestone is the reward, and if it feels a little less special than it should—be grateful for what you’ve managed to achieve.

Boy, that’s all cryptic. More to come on the events of 2024 so far, if only because I need to unpack it.

Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.