EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS

Some of you may be aware (by the fact that I’ve talked your head off about it) that Clare and I bought each other iPhones for Christmas. It was a no-brainer of a choice for me. I was coming to the end of an 18 month Vodafone contract, and the iPhone addressed at least five of the major issues I’d had with mobile phones ever since I’d bought my first Motorola, a Startac, back in the early 90s. For Clare, it was more of a love at first sight thing.
We’ve now had the devices for a couple of months, and it’s been an interesting relationship. We’ve had to upgrade Clare’s iBook to Tiger, and mess around with some preferences to get the Phone to talk to iTunes. We’ve found that, while for the most part it’s an extraordinary, life-affirming device, there are things about it that piss us off heartily. However, the firmware upgrade earlier this month has sorted out at least one of these, and the upcoming release of the SDK will doubtless do more. So, here’s my wishlist of the features the iPhone needs to turn it into the perfect mbile device.

1) SMS
Still not available, and I’m dumbfounded as to why that should be. OK, you can email photos, but that doesn’t help if you want to text a quick shot of your knob to a mate who’s been taking the mickey. You know, in the spirit of lively matey banter. Emailing a shot of my knob to him turns the relationship into something entirely other.

2) NOTES
Again, you can email notes, but why should you have to? If calenders and contacts can be synced to your home machine without having to think about it, why should you not be able to export Notes to a dedicated Documents folder? They’re only .rtf files, after all!

3) PDFs
I want to be able to treat text files on my phone in the same way as music and photos. I want to be able to download, store and read PDFs on my phone. I do not think I want the moon on a stick by asking for these.

Now, I’m aware that these may be available already on a jailbroken phone, but frankly that’s a step I don’t want to take. Running the risk of having a bricked phone when most of the functionality I’m after is probably only a month from an official release seems a bit short-sighted. So, if there are any developers reading this, any of the above will make for one happy punter. Thank you.

Talk about a showrunner listening to the fans. Even before the new season of Torchwood began last night, BBC’s continuity announcer promised us a show that was “pacier, sharper, funnier.” And for the most part, that’s what we got. A lot of the angst and moping that seriously dulled proceedings in the last season have gone, and arguments are much more likely to be settled with a good old punchup rather than a flounce-out and a moody pout over the Cardiff skyline. The tone is lighter, the jokes come out by the barrow(man)load – even if the feel gets a bit ooer missus at times. The running around and fighting quotient is up, the sweary is up, and the episode rattled along like an Intercity 125.

All of a sudden, the cast and crew seem to be enjoying themselves, which is a remarkable turnaround from the grinding lows of the last season. John Barrowman is certainly in his element, chewing the scenery with aplomb when he’s not chewing on James Marster’s face. In fact, ol’ Spike is a genius bit of casting, and from the moment he swaggers through a rift gate you know things are going to be entertaining at least. I hate to use the B word, but the tone feels a lot more like early Buffy now. Jokes, fights and drama flash past at a dizzying pace. There are plenty of cliffhangers, a twist or two, and some fairly hardcore violence. Jack’s “death” in this episode is pretty nasty, dropped off a tower block to land bent almost double the wrong way over a park bench – although I remember something disturbingly similar being suffered by Homer Simpson in an episode from a couple of years ago.

In short, the whole episode seemed geared to getting the fans back on board and quickly. The fanfic community are likely to be in spasm over the new opportunities in this one fifty-minuter alone, and I’m certain the early adventures of Jack and John will be all over LiveJournal in the next day or so. I can’t think of a more fanficfriendly piece of genre than Torchwood currently, and the fact that it’s lead character and his trickster nemesis will shag anything is a very definite plus point. The biggest laugh of the night for me was when Spi- sorry, Hart was ogling passersby out of the window of the SUV (which badly needs retiring. I’d be more impressed with the Mystery Machine than that refugee from the want ads of Max Power) and was told by Gwen to stop eyeing up a poodle. OK, maybe you had to be there, but a joke like that is all in the character and delivery, and with the new lighter tone it’s easier to get away with the panto-grade material. How do you think Carry On gets away with it?

All this, and Martha Jones to come. If Chris Chibnall and co can resist the temptation to slip back into the faux-adult angst and shagging soap dullness, the second season could be a genuine winner. I’m genuinely surprised, and not a little impressed with how much I enjoyed it.

(Stuart Feeling Listless does the WhoCrit with much more aplomb than me. Find his musings on the new season over at Behind The Sofa.)

It’s cold. It’s wet. It’s rainy. It’s the kind of weather that makes you want to curl back up under the covers and take a duvet day or two. I’ve had a few too many of those, since the world’s New Year gift to me was a fat chunky dose of norovirus – which when I think about it was not fat and chunky at all, but thin, wet and splattery.

What is required is a big bowl of love, something filled with flavour, heat and sunshine. So I was chuffed to find Homesick Texan‘s blog, which by itself is a warm and comforting read. Her recipe for proper Texan Big Red Chili had my mouth watering. It’s a weekend kind of recipe, the type of thing to spend a bit of time and care to make sure you get it right. I’ll certainly be trying it when I get a spare afternoon.

I was reminded at the same time of Heston Blumenthal’s recipe which was featured in the second series of In Search Of Perfection. When it comes to chili, I think there’s nothing wrong with an obsessively detailed approach. However, I remain unconvinced by some of his research. Going to a cookoff in a car park in downtown Washington? It’s hardly the heart of Big Red country!

Hey, this is a good idea. Michael at Cruftbox gives clear, straightforward instructions on how to build your own smoker for $50 – by the looks of it probably about 30 of the Queen’s quids. I’ve been wanting to try this for a while, and a bit of drilling is completely within my limited skillset. If we get a warm April, it could be the time to try this in earnest…

(via BoingBoing)

With reference to what I was discussing in my last post, here’s some interesting reading from futurist author Adam Greenfield on the model he’ll be using for his next book. Very very useful stuff.

(yes, I will be pre-ordering, and if you have any interest in the way cities will work in the future, you should too.)

via Warren Ellis

Observant readers to the blog may have noticed the absence of the usual Top Ten Retrospective List of 2007 Countdown List. Frankly, what’s the point? I’ve listed all the stuff I liked in my “This Years Loves” sidebar (updated and being closed out for springcleaning in a week or so, so if you are interested in my tastes, check the sidebar) and I don’t think the world needs yet another blog whittering pointlessly about old headlines. I am a futurist. Thusly, I will whitter pointlessly about stuff that hasn’t happened yet.

I are therefore looking forward to:

FINISHING THE NOVEL: I’ve sidelined the writing a little bit over the last month, as the old social life has got in the way. I’ll be back next week, hammering away at least a grand a day until first draft is done. Then polishing. Which should see me through until April. Just in time for:

SCRIPT FRENZY: NaNoWriMo’s scriptwriting challenge is simple enough, in the same way that the guillotine is a simple yet efficient machine. A feature-length script of at least 90 pages in a month. I have at least five ideas that would benefit from the cleansing wash of a first draft. The RSI should be in remission by then, and will need refreshing.

STRAIGHT 8: Yep, doing it again this spring. For those new to the concept, it’s a challenge whereby a short film is made in camera, in sequence, on a single roll of Super 8 without a sync soundtrack. It’s absurdly exhilarating. Raw creativity with all the mistakes and fumbles there in the final piece. When Straight 8 works, when talented film-makers get together and start sparking off each other, the end result can be a thing of beauty. Again, I have a couple of ideas, but I’m thinking on a new direction for this one – not fiction, in other words.

DANCE, DECKS & VIDEOTAPE: the work on Dom Wade’s dance music documentary continues apace, with an exciting interviewee ready to go in front of the cameras in the next week or so. Then we move on to the cutting of a promo, with the express intention of getting some funding for the bugger. Three years in the making so far, and we’re pushing to get something more solid out to people in 2008. And on the subject of promotional activities…

ROB’S WRITING WEBSITE: I used to have a showcase on Tripod for some of my short writing, and I’m planning on expanding that concept to include a more focussed picture of my capabilities as a writer and film-maker. By the looks of what I have planned in the spring, expect this for the second quarter of 2008. It will include downloadable PDF’s of the best of my short fiction, and the chance to buy proper copies of the novels. This has been banging around in my head for a while now, and the examples of writers like Cory Doctorow, Charles Stross and the whole Radiohead thing make me think that this is an increasingly viable option. Up with the Creative Commons licensing!

AND IN THE GAPS: the blasted wasteland of the veg patch needs a fairly drastic rethink, and to be frank a lot more attention than it got in 07. I’m sick of writing the phrase “little and often” in the blog at this time of year, but a couple of hours a week is really all it needs, and if I can light the fuse of the rocket up my arse, I see no reason why this should not happen.

There will also be more focus on guitar playing this year. Ruby remains one of the joys of my life, and a thrashed A minor chord is a pretty good cure for mopage.

Oh, and I need to catch up on things like The Wire (squee! season 5! boo! season last!) Galactica (squee! season 4! boo! season last!) Lost (ho hum. however, Kate, therefore muted squee) and Heroes. Thank fck for the Writer’s Strike. I don’t think I can cope with any new product. Except Doctor Who. There’s always room for Doctor Who. And Torchwood, I s’pose, although there had better be some game raising, and any attempt to get fish-faced Owen off with the fragrant Martha Jones will be met with retching noises and large heavy objects being flung. There’s no need for it, really there’s not.

And this is before the bumper year in films and music coming up, the work on the front room we’re starting in the next couple of weeks, the ongoing project to get all the CDs onto hard drive for wireless music through the house, Clare’s BIG birthday, a trip to Finland, the godfathering ritual with my new nephew Connor in the middle of this month and all the stuff I haven’t even thought of yet!

And somewhere in the middle of all that, I still have to fit in the odd post to the blog.

Just as well I hate being bored, isn’t it?

I love pancakes. I’m well-known in my family for making them, and making them well. OK, they take a little time, and there’s that faffing around with eggs, flour and milk, but that’s part of the fun of it. I enjoy cooking partly because I can make a joyous mess. The delicious end result is simply a side benefit.

But no, apparently I am a time-wasting fool. Why on earth should I make pancakes the old-fashioned way when I can squirt batter out of a can and into the pan?

And it’s organic, too! Why, I’d be an idiot not to try the stuff! Maybe I can mix it with some spray cheese for an added taste treat!

*bork*

(via HolyMoly)

…or not, depending on your point of view.

Ok, I’ll stop now. Not quite sure what came over me there…

Ho ho, hos.

Who knows? Might be worth a look.