I’m working a night shift this week and let me tell you, Readership, it is absolutely as strange and destabilising an experience as you’d expect. As an avowed and long-time early bird, the revised hours have effectively flipped my schedule through 180 degrees — asleep when I should be working, working when every fibre in my body tells me it’s snooze o’clock. It does feel, weirdly, as if there’s more time to play with during the day. I’m finishing at 5, home by 6, sleeping til 1 for my necessary seven hours with the rest of the day as my own. Is it fun trying to kip during an intense heatwave? Well, no. But physical and mental exhaustion have a way of bullying the nervous system into submission.
Meanwhile, I’ve invested in a good sleep mask and some Loop Dream earplugs to shut the world out. The turnaround back to days is, I suspect, going to be brutal. I couldn’t do it long term. It’s scrambling my brain-meats enough as it is. So, if this week’s Swipe seems a little less coherent than usual, now you know why.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Smiley’s People by John LeCarre. An absolute masterpiece of the spy novel form. Cold, bleak, tense. As far removed from the sci-fi misogyny of Bond as it’s possible to get. A world defined by betrayal, duality and leverage applied for the darkest of purposes. Even the ending, which should be happy, seems loaded with a sort of melancholy. Le Carre writes like he means it, like he’s lived it — which I suppose he has. There are callbacks to Tinker, Tailor Soldier Spy but they’re easily navigable and honestly, this is the better book. Great stuff.
Rob is watching…
The European Championships. Looks like the UK big hitters who avoided the Commonwealth Games were wise to keep their powder dry, because the Birmingham meet has been a stonker for Team GB. Highlights so far are the dominance of Amy Hunt on the track but for sheer flex, nothing beats Matt Hudson Smith winning his third Championship gold in front of his home crowd at his home stadium, before celebrating with a crown on his head in front of the stand which bears his name. In interviews the day after, it was clear he hadn’t slept a wink since that career-defining moment.
Rob is listening…
Why spend forty minutes listening to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band when you can do it in four? Thank you YouTuber Jhohn Leno for this essential service.
Rob is eating…
Cereal in the afternoon. Don’t you dare judge me.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Bobby Fingers has made a new diorama. I cannot emphasise how bizarrely entertaining and unsettling this clip is — a fever dream from a man I suspect has been in a glue-heavy atmosphere for waaaay too long .
Yes, honestly, I will stop banging on about aspect ratios soon, but the creative choice made by the director and cinematographer behind The Death Of Robin Hood looks to be something I’ll have to check out. I plan to stay through the credits as well. If you do the same, look out for a familiar name…
All the noise over some women performatively deciding to abandon the advances in equality over the last century in favour of a housewive’s apron strings seems a bit – well, clickbait, frankly. But there is another side to the equation. Trad wives need a hard-drinking, big-earning trad husband to pay the bills otherwise the whole teetering edifice just falls over.
I’d love to be a gamer, but I don’t really have the patience for the massive setup and volumes of rulebooks which are a prerequisite for anything but the most basic of entertainments. UNO is about my limit, I’m afraid. But I do hold grudging respect for this pair of masochists who are taking on the most complex board game challenge of them all.
The first bar of chocolate made entirely from ingredients grown in the UK in nearly 100 years was announced this week, and I’m chuffed to see it’s a product of Reading. Our town punches above its weight in all sorts of esoteric disciplines, so it’s a not a surprise that we have a flair for delicious innovation.
Back when I were a lad, there was one version of an album and that was it and you were lucky to have it. Now it feels as if special editions, remasters and remixes with bonus tracks and a free pack of biccies are the only way to get people to shell out for a physical product rather than just firing up the Spotifys. But I genuinely cannot see any benefit in spending premium prices for trendy vinyl only to get an inferior product. It’s not like you can scratch on extra tracks after the event, is it?
If it wasn’t for C’s strict ‘one in, one out’ policy on kitchen gizmos, I would be sorely tempted to snag (pun) this defiantly one-use object. You could use it to barbecue corn as well, I suppose. Or fat leeks. This feels like a product designed for food truck use with a flat plate, unless you’re a true sausage-monster.
More despatches from Sophie Heawood’s love life in The Fence. This is genuinely hilarious and heartfelt. I feel for anyone navigating the singles scene these days. It feels like a trap-ridden hellscape.
A lot of my favourites in here. I am such a sucker for this stuff. Yesterday’s future holds so much allure to me nowadays. This is like a dream of a future we had under our fingers and somehow let slip away.
Last up, take five minutes to enjoy this meditative, slightly surreal short documenting the move of a towering grain elevator from one rural Canadian town to another. I get strong Straight Story-era David Lynch vibes from this lovely little film.
In conclusion.
See you in seven, fellow travellers. Hopefully I’ll be more awake.
EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS 