New Short Fiction: JUBILEE

Regular members of The Readership may recall that I celebrated the Royal Wedding last year with a tale that embraced the idea of the Windsors being extraterrestrial lizards that ruled in disguise. If not, it’s here for your delight.

The Wedding Day

As The Jubilee is upon us, I thought it might be nice to revisit the family, and see how they were enjoying the long Bank Holiday. You may be able to deduce some idea of my feelings towards the monarchy, but I’ll leave it as an inference. No point in giving everything away.

Here then, for your holiday enjoyment, Excuses And Half Truths is proud to present: JUBILEE.

(Advisory for profanity and references to lizard sex.)

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Guest Post: The Norwich 100

It’s turning into a guest post week at X&HT. This suits me very well – I’ve been up to my earlobes in other writing, and it’s always nice to see what other Team-mates are up to. 

With that in mind, I’m delighted to present Doco Domsy’s report on the annual Norwich 100 cycle ride in support of the British Heart Foundation. This is a big event for an important cause which I know is close to his heart and…

Hell, why don’t I just shut up and let him tell the story? 

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The View From the Marché

The announcement of the winning films at this year’s Cannes Film Festival left me as ever with the feeling that an opportunity had been missed. There was no sense of excitement about the event. Prizes went to delicate two-handers filmed in single rooms, or wry Scottish comedies. Where was the thrill of cinema, the transgressive, the sheer lunacy? 

Fortunately, those of us who have been to the Festival know that the big premieres at the Palais only tell a small fraction of the whole story, and the underbelly of the Festival is ripe with oddities. 

In the first of our exclusive Cannes reports for Excuses And Half Truths, Stuart Wright shows us his picks for the films that will be lighting up the Croisette this time next year. 

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The Saturday Tracks: Dead In Love

I wanted to try something a little different, in the interests of sharing my broad musical tastes with all-a-y’all. If nothing else, it’ll be a way of getting some quick and dirty postings up. I’ve been lax this week. There have been reasons for this. I choose not to share them.

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The Dead Files, Vol. 1 – An Update

It’s been a pretty crazy week for the UKZDL and our first zombie compilation, The Dead Files, Vol. 1. To say it’s exceeded our expectations is … well, putting it mildly.

On Thursday afternoon, four days after launch, it was in the top 100 Kindle Horror chart, and top 10 for Horror Short Stories overall. That’s Kindle and book downloads, I’ll have you know. At one point we were actually sitting between two Stephen King books at no. 9 on the chart. Don’t believe me?

The notion of outselling the King Of Horror, even if only for a moment and in a niche market is a giddy one, I can tell you.

Things have calmed down slightly, but after this first flush we’re keen to keep things moving. We’re actively looking for readers to review The Dead Files, Vol. 1 on their own sites. We’d especially like a few reviews on Amazon itself – a few star ratings would really help us out. If you’ve read it and liked it – let the world know!

Looking ahead, we’re already planning Vol. 2, which we hope to launch in late June/early July. My contribution will be an expansion of the world I introduced in The Key To The Gates Of Hell. We’re very excited about it, and think you guys are in for a treat. It’s vital that we continue to expand the remit, and make sure our Readership is well supplied with tales of the zombie apocalypse.

Furthermore, we’re in the final stages of prepping a print run, which means you can read The Dead Files on actual paper made out of actual wood pulp veeery soon. Keep this channel open for further communications.

It’s all been a bit manic and humbling, and we’re incredibly grateful for the love and suport we’ve had in our first week. A massive thanks is due to everyone that’s bought the book. And we won’t let you down. Believe us – this is only the beginning…

Not bought The Dead Files, Vol. 1 yet? Well, my goodness, what are you waiting for? The links are right here!

The Dead Files, Vol. 1 on Amazon.co.uk

The Dead Files, Vol. 1 on Amazon.com

Fairytale Of Le Havre

Sometimes, it’s tough not to come across as a film snob. I try to be inclusive and open – honest, really, I do. But in a pub earlier this week with MovieBrit Kate, I found myself uttering these immortal words about Aki Kaurismäki’s latest film, Le Havre: “I thought it was great. But you’d hate it.”

In my defence, I know Kate’s tastes. She has no patience for subtitled misery, and my delight in depressing foreign movies usually ends up with me on the wrong end of the finest display of lip-curling this side of Elvis.

But I do think I’m on safe ground when I say that Kaurismäki’s films are not for everyone. They’re deadpan, deliberately paced (oh, alright, slow) and deal with small stories set in poor locations acted out by sad, ugly people.

Tempted?
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The Dead Files Are Open!

 

Exciting news, Readership! It’s been hellish having to wait until now to share the news but, at last, finally, I can announce the arrival of the first UKZDL anthology, The Dead Files, Vol. 1.

We are the United Kingdom Zombie Defence League – a group of writers and fans that have teamed up to give you, the discerning horror aficionado, new twists and takes on the zombie apocalypse tale. There’s a lot of fun stuff in here, and even a cautionary nursery rhyme!

I’m especially excited because of course, I’m a part of the group and my novella, The Key To The Gates Of Hell, is the finale of the whole book. It’s a tale of adventure and electrical zombies set five hundred years after Z-Day, in a world that’s very different. I think it’s sci-fi horror with a difference, and I really hope you enjoy it. Here’s an extract, just to give you an idea of what to expect.

 

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Introducing The Band: Against The Auteur Theory

When you start making film, you come to realise very quickly (or at least you do if you have the faintest scrap of self-awareness) that the auteur theory is bullshit. The very idea of a film being “by” one person is simply untrue.

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Tanglefoot Rice

In the unlikely event that I ever make it onto Desert Island Discs, there’s one decision with which I would struggle massively. Not the music – a heady mix of northern soul, chiming indie rock and squelchy electronica. Sod that one book nonsense – I’d be taking a Kindle fully loaded with William Gibson, Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut.

It would be the luxury item that would give me pause. Although the notion of a fast satellite uplink feeding a hot-rodded MacBook Pro appeals, I think in the end I’d have to plump for a rice cooker.

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