Art – EXCUSES AND HALF TRUTHS

In Here Life Is Beautiful

‘Come and have a dance.’

Your response to that demand (and it is a demand, not a question or request) depends entirely on who says it. From your beloved? No option but to comply. It’s likely one of Your Songs has hit the decks. You need to throw shapes with them, right now.

If a drunken relative puts out a hand, you have more swerve room. It’s within your rights to fake the flare-up of an old sports injury or the development of a new twinge—say from the strenuous shape-pulling you’ve just thrown with your beloved—as an excuse to cry off. It’s also a good cue to make for the bar and grab a glass of something to ease the imaginary pain.

Exceptions to the rule? If your mum or gran make the demand, get over yourself and get back on deck. It’s the least you can do after what you put them through as a child.

If a large sweaty bloke in pancake makeup and a corset who you’ve never met before invites you up, well, what do you do? More specifically, what did I do when it happened to me last week?

Up On Irish Row

The track up the valley is not for the faint-hearted—or if you have a fancy car. It’s a set of inclines which quickly hike in gradient, a loose gravelly surface riddled with potholes and larger rocks. As you progress steep, fern-cloaked limestone walls give way to steep drops with rushing waterfalls seething twenty feet below. Your tentative progress will be watched and judged by Herdwick sheep, unblinking and endlessly curious. Wheel-spin is inevitable. You will almost certainly have to slow to a crawl at some point for walkers.

Just at the point when the terrain starts to level, and a clear path comes into view, you realise the map is pointing you uphill again, to an even narrower and rockier track. ‘This can’t be right,’ you say. ‘We must have gone wrong.’ Visions of the car stuck in a ditch and the prospect of a night in the wilds dance through your head. But you find the nerve and the lowest gear you have, grip the steering wheel a little tighter and take the right.

Readi To Go: Notes On Readipop 2022

After two years away for some reason, Readipop returned to Christchurch Meadows for three days of art, love and music. It was delightful and strange to be back. Can we remember how to festival?

The Story Of Sentience

Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before. There’s this guy who works with computers, a software developer. As part of his duties, he has to interrogate the equipment, a quality control pass to make sure the program is working within normal parameters. He discovers, or realises, or believes, his particular piece of software is not only over-performing—it has developed a soul.

The Cut Season 2 Episode 22

Sumer is ycumin in, according to the old song. Really? We see little evidence of the change in sessions as yet. If anything, things seem to be going backwards. Still, all this rain is good for the garden, if not for our mood. We hold out hope for a sunny long weekend cos boy howdy do we need to get some mowing done.

This week, impractical devices, violent deaths and a card trick that still stumps all the experts.

Now is the bank holiday. The garden is the place. This is The Cut.

The Cut Season 2 Episode 21

It fell to Liam Gallagher to sum up the mood of the British public in one succinct tweet.

PUB
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) May 17, 2021

Exactly. Have you been in-out yet (as opposed to out-out—frankly we find it hard to enjoy a beer while shivering under canvas)? How was it? A bit odd and creepy or a shining, joyous moment pointing the way to a new and brighter future? At the time of writing we have yet to indulge, although a lunchtime session is in the mix. It could well get emotional.

This week, we get a bit noir-y, take a look at a very literal Cold War and ponder the mechanics and logistics behind a one-shot movie.

Pub is the place. Opening time it is. This is The Cut.

The Cut Season 2 Episode 16

We are yet to have a haircut. We have yet to drink a pint in the sunshine. We are shy and retiring creatures and the news footage of all those people and all that noise has put us into retreat a bit. It will come, perhaps this weekend. After all, we all look like versions of Doc Emmet Brown from Back To The Future now. We celebrate and congratulate those of The Readership who have taken their first steps into a brighter world. We hope to join you soon.

In the meantime, check out one writer’s post-Covid schedule, snag a primer on the weird world of government economics and join us in song as we say goodbye to a legend.

Here in this place, now at this time, you will find The Cut.

The Cut Season 2 Episode 10

+++BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ARTS DESK+++

As we hit the last lap on locking this week’s issue, news emerged regarding the graffitoe which appeared on the walls of Reading Gaol on Sunday evening. Following a week of fevered speculation, stencil-wrangler and prankster Banksy has confirmed they are to blame for the artwork. Many see the piece as a show of support from the influential street art collective for the ongoing campaign to turn the long-disused site into an arts hub. The references to Oscar Wilde’s stay are clear. We note with a smile that the work’s position, high up on a wall which is still government property, will dissuade the usual chancers, shysters and thieves which gather at the first sniff of easy profit from ‘buying’ it and denying access to a work of art which belongs to the people. As Reading locals and street art fans, we at The Cut are doubly delighted at this new addition to our already rich cultural heritage.

We now return you to our scheduled programming.

Now is the time. Here is the place. This is The Cut.

The Cut 🤺 Issue 26

Lockdown 2–Electric Boogaloo! Frankly at this point in proceedings hibernation feels like the best option. If you need us we’ll be in our cave.

However, The Cut continues, if in sliiiightly truncated form this week. Hey, look, some of us have lives too, yeah? We kid. Always lovely to see you. Enjoy the usual hunk of palaver.

Now is the time. Here is the place. This is The Cut.

The Cut 🔪Issue 24

It is a week when Phil Collins’ ex-wife barricaded herself in his mansion with armed guards at the door, a woodworking show featured a face-tatted Nazi sympathiser, and one-time Mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani was caught with his hands down his kecks in the presence of an actress in the new Borat movie. Frankly, we can’t compete with that. Come, hide under the covers with us and enjoy some writing that won’t make you feel like the abyss is staring into you.

Now is the time. Here is the place. This is The Cut.