Start-Up Sequence

05:00

I’m not really awake, but drifting in and out of consciousness. I’ve been in this state since probably half-four, perhaps a little earlier if old-man bladder hasn’t already forced me into a stumble to the loo. The alarm is set for 05:30, and as ever, I promise that I’ll stay in bed until it goes off.

05:26

Inevitably, I break that promise. I’m too awake to stay put now, so I zombie-walk into the shower. Thirty seconds after leaving the sweet embrace of the duvet, I’m upright and wet.

05:30

The alarm goes off. It’s a cheap Chinese activity tracker with a vibrate built in. It’s showerproof, but the touch-sensitive surface doesn’t react well to the pummelling of the shower head, and I can’t switch it off. Doesn’t matter, I’m awake now. I let the device burr at me and get soapy.

05:40

Dryish, dressed-ish. I’m often accused of looking like I dressed in the dark and well, that ain’t so far off the truth. I work in a place where contact with clients is minimal. Frankly as long as I turn up with a pair of jeans and a top on, no-one could care less.

Downstairs, harried all the way by Millie the cat, who has been dogging my heels since I hit the shower. In the dark it’s sometimes hard to see her and she has a habit of flinging herself full-length at the bathroom door, or twining around my ankles while I’m trying to negotiate the stairs. I swear, one of us will end up dead because of her antics.

Kettle on. Now for tea. I’m a coffee fiend at work, but the world doesn’t look right if I don’t start things off with a cuppa. Nothing fancy. PG in a mug, splash of cow-juice. While the brew stews I dole some wet food into Millie’s bowl. She goes in headfirst, slurping at the moggy-chow like she’s half-starved. Which, I can assure you, she is not.

05:45

A bit of quiet time. If I’m feeling virtuous, I’ll get a bit of writing done. This is a good time to work–with brain half-engaged some interesting things usually hit the page. In the depths of winter, though, inspiration can be tough to dredge up. It’s more likely that the newsfeeds and Twitter get a once-over while the tea gradually gets my cogs spinning.

06:03

The kettle goes back on. Tea for TLC. If I time it right, delivery of said hot beverage coincides with her phone alarm going off. I swipe it to snooze for her, and plant a kiss. She mumbles a sweetness back at me. She’ll be in the shower by the time I leave, so this is the only contact we have until the evening. We never skip this bit of the morning ritual. It would be honestly unthinkable.

06:10

A little more reading, perhaps give Millie a fuss if she’s in the mood. My eyes keep drifting back to the clock. My brain is beginning to turn over now, filling with the cruft of the work day ahead. Tasks to do, excuses and apologies to make. Crisis avoidance strategies. You know, the usual.

06:25

Boots on. The inevitable patting of pockets. Wallet, work-pass, phone, keys. Check checky check-check. Over time, my everyday carry has been stripped back to these essentials. Potentially, everything I need for a working day could go in a single pocket of my jeans. Less to think about means less to worry about.

06:27

I crack the airlock and step outside. It’s cold, dark and quiet. I wake the car with a click of the fob and slide into the driver’s seat. I slot the key and turn the car to power. My OnePlus gets plugged into a flying charge lead, and music starts. Either a Spotify playlist streamed from the phone (modern psychedelia, classic funk, maybe some Americana or rockabilly. No podcasts, no radio, no voices that aren’t singing) or a random pick from the USB stick hooked into the stereo. I sit, just for a second, and let the tunes wash over me. I breathe in, deeply, hold it for a count of five, let it out again. Then I turn the key one last click.

06:30.

Ignition.

Main engine start.

Once again into the wild blue yonder.

Further Excuses

Six years in the making. The agony of deciding on a cover, on running order, on typography. What to put in. What to leave out. Over the past fortnight I’ve held a trembling cursor over the publishing button on more than one occasion, only to withdraw at the last moment.

Continue reading Further Excuses

Chicken Two Ways: Soho, Memory and That Whole Proust Thing

I turned my back on Soho in October 2016, twenty-seven and a half years after I first walked through the door of TVP in Golden Square. I started as a runner, one of those fresh-faced types that would grab coffee, fetch lunches and ferry videotapes around. There–videotapes. Shows you how long ago it was. Continue reading Chicken Two Ways: Soho, Memory and That Whole Proust Thing

The A To Z Of SFF: O Is For The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas

As usual with our short story posts, we urge you to read the story before listening.

Here’s a link.



A parable on the sacrifices even the most utopian societies have to make. Does Ursula LeGuin’s acclaimed story dig into a deeper truth…or is it simply stating the obvious? Worse, is it suggesting that the best we can do when faced with atrocity is walk away? Rob and Clive try to unpick this most knotty of threads, only to find themselves more deeply tangled than before…

Rollerball: The Harmony Of Havoc

As a follow-up to our A To Z piece on Rollerball last week, friend of the blog and avid Rollerball fan Chris Rogers approached us with a piece that digs into the themes and visual style of the classic SF movie. We’re delighted to present it, in full Multivision.

Continue reading Rollerball: The Harmony Of Havoc

The A To Z Of SFF: Story Of Your Life

Let’s talk about some proper SF, with a nose around Ted Chiang’s Nebula-Award winning short story Story Of Your Life. If you want discussion on the challenges of living in a deterministic universe or Fermat’s Theorem of Least Time, then do we have a treat for you!

If not, don’t worry, we’ll be back to the zap guns and little green men soon enough.


 


 

Hey, if you want to read the story in question, lucky you! Check it out here (If you like it, we do urge you to buy the collection of stories in which it’s housed for yet more head-mangling goodness).

Blast-off! Launching Pirates Of The Moon

Yesterday was pretty momentous for me. It saw the long-awaited release of my second novel, Pirates Of The Moon. Finally, oh my lovely Readership, you get a chance to read my first foray into long-form science fiction. Continue reading Blast-off! Launching Pirates Of The Moon

The Phantom Of Soho

It finally struck me when I walked down Berwick Street yesterday evening. It's never been the fanciest of places, and after the market stalls have closed up it feels abandoned, dirty, a bit sad.

But all of a sudden that feeling has gone up by a factor of ten. There's fancy new paving underfoot, which just accentuates the litter. And the shops on the right hand side, under the awning, are gone. All of them. A run from the Co-Op to the pub that used to be the Endurance. Reckless Records, Beatroot, that funny little pound store, the bookies. Vanished behind a sweep of hoarding that features photos of the shops and businesses that have just been wiped off the map.

 

This is not an elegy for the Soho that was. I come not to mourn the place. Progress has to be made, and Soho has been a shithole for as long as I've known it. But we have history, the old neighbourhood and I. And Lord knows, it's weird to see it slip away.

I've been here for twenty-five years, from runner to VT op to telecine op to “colourist” to… whatever the hell I am now. I've lost count of the times I've been offered sex and drugs. I've lost count of the times I've been asked if I can supply them. I've dodged the whores and the trannies and the pimps and the dealers, side-stepping the puddles of puke and piss and blood–some of which were my fault. It's an ugly place, Soho. A rat's warren of alleys and narrow streets where you could scare up pretty much any thrill that tickled your tiny mind. On a night shift you could feel the vampires lurking round the corner.

I've worked here for a very long time, and it's never looked worse. Because it's a building site now. And what's emerging from under the scaffolding is a monster.

I mean, I've never liked Soho, but at least we knew where we stood. A cantankerous relationship. Her in last night's dress, lippy smeared across her face in a crimson snarl. Me with bags under my eyes you could tote home the groceries in, tottering drunkenly after one too many shifts on a leaking wetgate. We'd been around each other enough to keep the knives in our pockets, out of sight. We'd spit at each other then back off, and that was a victory we could live with. It was horrible, but it made a kind of sense.

The Soho coming out of the chrysalis now is a different sort of ugly.

 

We're back in Berwick Street, and the chippy on the corner by The Blue Posts has closed for the last time. If you want fish and chips now, you have to go to the Golden Union, where they'll charge you almost double for something half as good. The pubs are cleaning up their act, and bumping their prices at the same time. Soho was never the cheapest place to drink, but they're taking the piss. The site of The Endurance now houses a “Chinese gastropub” called The Duck And Rice, that will cheerfully charge £7 for a pint of their custom home brew.

And don't get me started on the coffee. Or that there seem to be more tapas bars per square yard here than in downtown Barcelona.

Even the people are different. Clean. Nice shoes. Shiny hair. I hate every last bright-eyed one of them.

I walk past the places where I used to work. TVP, my first gig, a post-production company that took a chance on me for reasons I still can't quite fathom. The Golden Square site is office space now. The Poland Street site is a hole in the ground. Most of the Dean Street side of the last film lab in London, the place where I made a name for myself and earned some film credits, is a hotel. The rest will no doubt be following soon. I feel like a ghost, watching the world I knew remap itself.

Is there still a place here for me? Well, there's the question. TLC and I cashed in our two-bed end-of-terrace in Walthamstow for the house we now call home ten years ago. I commute in, gazing out of a train window as the green fields outside Twyford and Maidenhead are taken over by industrial estates and smoke-grey brick. Four days work a week. The fifth is used up just by traveling to and from Reading. I fill the time with writing, but it's still a slog.

Yet I'm still here. Twenty-five years, while most of the people I knew have moved on, and the town and the job mutates under my feet. I wish I could tell you why I can't let go. Maybe it's cowardice. Maybe I'm just scared to find out what happens when I have to find something else to do with my time.

But as the neighbourhood changes so irrevocably around me, maybe the choice is already being made. I can't let go of Soho, but there's no reason why Soho can't let go of me. One day, we'll cease to recognise each other. She's got a new dress on and a fresh lick of make-up. Me? Fuck, I just look old.

And that's the day when I leave her to the bright-eyed kids in the tapas bars. That's when I get on the train for the last time, and watch dry-eyed as the landscape outside my train window reels back from grey to green.

I have a feeling that it won't be long now.