Camera Shy

It would be very easy to loose off a rant in the direction of TV critic and misogynist AA Gill following the comments he made about classicist Mary Beard and her excellent new programme Meet The Romans. But I really just wanted to make one point, raised by a quote from his review. He states:

‘The hair is a disaster, the outfit an embarrassment… This isn’t sexist or beside the point. If you’re going to invite yourself into the front rooms of the living, then you need to make an effort.’

Let’s take a look at some other TV science and history presenters and see how well they scrub up for the cameras, shall we?

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…you get the idea.

Meet The Romans continues tonight at 9pm on BBC2. You can find AA Gill cowering behind the Times paywall, or under the nearest rock.

A Feast Of Film

I knew it was going to be an interesting evening as soon as I walked through the door of Moor’s Bar. I was greeted with a loud halloo, a high five and a hug by a woman to whose face I could not immediately put a name. Then she started dancing at me and the truth dropped with a heavy clang. I had no idea who this woman was, and she was drunk as a skunk.

It took a while to extricate myself, much to the amusement of Leading Man Clive and Simon Aitken, who watched my predicament from a safe distance (THANKS, guys), clearly amused as I tried to stay polite and unmolested. My virtue remained unsullied (just) but by that point I was REALLY ready for a beer.

I was in Crouch End for the monthly Feast On Film night that Moor’s Bar’s affable owner Andy hosts with James Rumsey to show my support. It was something of an Out Of Hours reunion, as Xav Rodriguez, Keith Eyles and Simon all had films on the bill. It was also a chance to drop off a hard drive to Clive. A hard drive that had the graded pics from Out Of Hours on it. Two days earlier, Clive and I had sat together in a Nucoda suite and given his newest, greatest short a dose of pixie dust. Gotta say, even though I’d said it didn’t need much work, it benefitted from the extra effort I put in. I’m proud to say that it looks really good, and I can’t wait for the imminent cast and crew screening.

But that’s in the future. There were six short films on the bill on this rainy Wednesday night in North London, and plenty of film-makers to meet.

First up, a piece from the one director that couldn’t make it. Hector Corp is a three-year in the making corporate spoof from VFX wizard Gary H. Lee, that took the idea of mass redundancy and added plastic penguins to the mix. There was a Gremlins vibe and a skewed dark humour on show that had the bar roaring with approval. A great start, and a shame Gary couldn’t have been there to take his praise.

Prey was next up. A moody short by Xav Rodriguez, who I had last seen as a sleazy security guard on the Out Of Hours shoot. A twisty tale of the relationship between hunter and hunted, it benefitted enormously from the rain-slashed night exteriors – a fact that Xav admitted he’d neither scripted or planned for. It just so happened that on the two weekends he was shooting, the heavens opened at exactly the same time. Sometimes, you just have to embrace the gifts you’re given – even if they don’t seem like gifts at the time.

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Open Window, directed by Matt Prendergast from a script by Feast regular Mark Brown was a noir short-short with a great little twist. I’m not usually a fan of voiceover, but here it was kind of the point. Shot in under an hour in a pub toilet, Open Window was very much a case of just grabbing a camera and making something. The two Marks have moved on a great deal since that early short, but as a starting point Open Window shows the sharp humour and solid writing that has become a trademark of the BraineHownd film experience.

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Another early example of a film-maker’s art was up next. Keith Eyles’ Crossed Lines took a dark view of what can happen when you accidentally text the wrong number. It had a Hitchcockian air, with some nicely tense scenes and a bleak view of romance. It’s Keith’s longest film, and the one where he tried out a ton of different techniques. But it all hangs together visually, and I thought it was a great little piece.

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Without Subtitles was fifth on the bill, and I don’t think I need to tell you any more about that. Simon tells me he has plans for ninja screenings at Cannes. If you’re going, keep your eyes open, and if you see Simon and Ben, ask nicely and you might just get your own private show!
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It was the first time I’d seen it on a big screen. While I will always have issues with bar projection, I thought it looked pretty good. It’s the colourist in me. I never finish grading a film. I just have to stop.

The final film of the night was Conducting Threads, a lovely surrealist romance from Spanish director Nuno Montero. It’s one of those films that’s open to all sorts of interpretations, none of which are wrong. Composer Luigi Frassetto was in attendance, and gave an interesting perspective on the way writing music for film is a different creative challenge to just about any other composing job. A surprise appearance from actor Martin Head gave us yet another view of Nuno’s directing approach – which seemed to be allowing the cast and crew to make up their own minds about the film’s meaning!

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As everyone settled into post-screening chat and drinks, I had to run off. The long trip back to Reading was ahead – and I had been inspired. By midnight, I would have most of a short script in the laptop. Who knows, I could be showing something at the Feast On Film more soonly than you think…

Photos by Simon Aitken. Photo of Simon and Ben by Andrew David Clark. There’s more pics of the night on Facebook!

Out Of The Woods: X&HT Saw The Cabin In The Woods

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck then you have a fair idea of what you have in your pond. But, as any horror fan knows, appearances can be deceptive. And when it comes to the latest from Joss Whedon, who knows a thing or two about messing with your expectations, it’s best to keep your eyes and mind open. Because The Cabin In The Woods may look an awful lot like a horror film, but it’s no duck.

Oh, baby, are there ever spoilers after the jump. Spoilers the like of which you have never seen. Unless you’ve seen the film. In which case, on you go.

Continue reading Out Of The Woods: X&HT Saw The Cabin In The Woods

Short Film News

A couple of updates for you on current film projects. Finally, finally, a working drive with the full cut for Out Of Hours has landed in my grading suite. That’s the job for this afternoon, although to be frank there’s not a great deal to be done. Simon and Andy have done an astonishing job with their brace of GH2s and their secret blend of antique fast lenses and hidden menu-fu. In fact, the film already looks good enough that Clive has sent out screening copies to the Cannes judging panel before I’ve had a chance to get my mitts on it. From what I’ve seen, this could be a bit special.

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Speaking of Simon and indeed a certain French film festival, if you’d like to see the film that Cannes refused to show and you’re in North London on Wednesday night, your luck’s in. Without Subtitles is screening as part of the Feast On Film event, at the Moors Bar in Crouch End. With a strong lineup that includes contributions from Out Of Hours alumni Xav Rodruguez and Keith Eyles, it should be a great night. Simon will be there to answer questions, and hey, I believe I’ll be around as well. Things kick off at 8, doors at 7.

 

Always Take The Weather

Like all true Englishmen, I am delighted with the turn for the surreal that the weather has taken. As the safest of every true Englishman’s Default Conversational Openers/Small Talk Gambits (which include The Football, Immigrants, and Bins), the weather has been a tried and tested way to engage in conversation with people in bus queues or dull dinner parties. When it flips between record-breaking heat wave and snow, you know you can depend on all kinds of fascinating opinion.

Me, I just love the skies you get in the mornings when the weather’s all over the shop. Blue skies get dull after a while, and no-one likes the flat grey of a rainy day. The train into work is treating me to some stunning sunrises at the moment, and I’m particularly enamoured of the cloudscapes over Leicester Square as I emerge blinking from Piccadilly Circus tube. Take this beauty that I snagged last week. Enough just to give me a moment of pause before I start my day.

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Five Favourite Bunnies For Easter

Happy Easter Rabbit Day! As I hope the Readership is aware, I have something of a thing for the humble Lagomorpha Lapodirae that I find tricky to either explain or justify. I just like ’em, OK?

As today is the day when the little critters are most in the mimetic spotlight, I thought I’d run down a short list of my personal faves. Please feel free to chip in if you think I’ve missed any.

Continue reading Five Favourite Bunnies For Easter

Food In Montpellier

It would hardly be the most mind-boggling revelation to say that the French love their food. It’s intertwined in the culture, part of the national psyche. The French get food at a pure, primal level. In the UK we’ve come along in leaps and bounds in our understanding and appreciation of good food in the past twenty years. I’d argue that English cheese has the better of la fromage francaise, and there’s no such thing as a decent French pork pie. But food and eating are an intrinsic part of French daily life, and our weekend in Montpellier gave us quite a few different examples of that fact.

Continue reading Food In Montpellier

Without Subtitles, with added controversy

There’s an interesting twist to the tale of Simon Aitken’s latest short, Without Subtitles. It’s been summarily rejected for the Short Film Corner at the Cannes Film Festival.

This is, to put it mildly, something of a surprise. The SFC is famous for accepting a much wider range of films than you’d think, and it’s unusual for the committee to reject a film unless it’s overtly racist, pornographic or, in the words of the guidelines, has “no cinematic artistic value.” Yet Without Subtitles, which I personally think is one of Simon’s strongest works, was bounced back to him within 24 hours of submission – surprising for a festival that believe in letting film-makers sweat before letting them know if they’ve made the cut.

Simon and his writer and lead actor Ben Green pronounce themselves flummoxed by the decision. As do I. Simon has put a temporary link up to Without Subtitles, which I’ve embedded below. Any comments on why you believe the Short Film Corner should so quickly reject the film are welcome. Is it anti-French, or mysogynistic? As Simon points out in the comments, it’s based on a true story. Or is there another reason why Without Subtitles cannot be shown at the Cannes Film Festival?

(If the temp link is down let me know and I’ll endeavour to get you a new one.)

UPDATE: there’s a fan page on Facebook. Of course there is.